I have been recently addicted to dark chocolate covered pretzels. Though, when I eat them, at every single bite, I think, Is it salty from the pretzel? Or is my mouth bleeding? but it doesn't seem to hinder me because I cannot stop.
I can feel a hot one has been my favorite song for a while now.
I wish I was a med student because I'd really like to know exactly where my organs are located.
Complaining time:
Why do I always feel alone in my judgments?
I've provided alcohol for myself and my roommates (retarded BFF/Dmnq and her gf/Mghn) for the past four months.
A couple days ago I bought strawberry daiquiri mix. We drank it all. Today Dmnq mentioned we should have another daiquiri night. I already had plans with Rbkh to see I Love You, Man in theaters around 10pm but I thought, why not? There's always time for drinks.
Rbkh is my smart friend. My friend who completely understands and complains along with me about the selfishness of Dmnq, about all the little stuff we do for her and Mghn and how they would never EVER think about reciprocating.
So, I buy stuff to make guacamole and find out that the tortilla chips we had at home were thrown away. I send Dmnq a text. I ask her to pick up mix and chips. She replies, "Aren't we going to the movies, tonight? I'll get the mix later, we've only got 100 dollars for food this week."
OH I'M SORRY. Maybe you only have 100 dollars for food because your gf never works and you've spent your money buying her three laptops in the span of four months, two of which are Macs, and she just keeps breaking them.
Besides that silent point, I ask her why she's going to the movies then.
Rbkh is paying for the three of them.
Am I alone here? Am I alone thinking that the people who make themselves suffer and who care about no one but themselves SHOULD suffer? I don't even want to go to the movie anymore, I feel so sick and sour with disappointment and annoyance.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
0014
I have always written journal entries in my head, long, clever ones that I forget the moment I pick up a pen.
My teeth have been hurting for the past month, traveling up to my ear, and I've been popping Advil here and Tylenol there. Why can't I live in a country with affordable health care? I would even settle for being able to just pay monthly for a dental/vision plan, nothing else, but it doesn't work that way. I think it's kind of pathetic that my major goals in life are cutting my credit cards down to two and saving money for dental work.
Dmnq chopped my hair off at the beginning of January and once a week someone asks if I've cut it again. I have not. My hair must never grow. I just want super long, thick, wavy hair that rarely falls out. My biggest peeve with my long hair was the shedding in the shower. I hated the look, the feel, and my drain hated it too.
I need a comfortable desk chair.
My teeth have been hurting for the past month, traveling up to my ear, and I've been popping Advil here and Tylenol there. Why can't I live in a country with affordable health care? I would even settle for being able to just pay monthly for a dental/vision plan, nothing else, but it doesn't work that way. I think it's kind of pathetic that my major goals in life are cutting my credit cards down to two and saving money for dental work.
Dmnq chopped my hair off at the beginning of January and once a week someone asks if I've cut it again. I have not. My hair must never grow. I just want super long, thick, wavy hair that rarely falls out. My biggest peeve with my long hair was the shedding in the shower. I hated the look, the feel, and my drain hated it too.
I need a comfortable desk chair.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
0012
My HULU addiction has waned only because I've exhausted all my resources. I've watched practically every SNL skit and I'm all caught up on the tv shows. Now, my heart flutters when my Hulu folder of rss feeds tells me there's a new video. THIS IS WHAT EXCITEMENT IS: A NEW LIE TO ME EPISODE.
Jby came by after a long absence and picked up the new Resident Evil for us to play. Reminded me of the months I lived with Kvn and his constant xbox 360 marathons. I used to love watching him play. I'd get into it, DON'T GO IN THERE- TURN!TURN!TURN!- BEHIND YOU OMG, and I'd talk to his buddies through the mic. I'm horrible at the two joystick thingy and the multiple movements for views. I am a first person player. I loved Call of Duty.
So Jby came by while I was at the gym with Mother and he waited until I was done. The roommates/ his sister and her gf weren't around which probably gave him no excuse not to. The only time they talk recently ends with them yelling at each other mostly caused by Mghn and how Dmnq has changed since.
It was fun. I missed hanging out with someone who I can have long conversations with summarized by, "have you seen this on youtube?!" "OMG the new south park episode!!!" "Dude, do NOT tell me you haven't heard..." and so on. We are very appreciative of the internet and I feel like no one understands us. We're quoters. Every day life is better explained by internet quotes be it movies or lyrics or comedy skits.
When Dmnq came home she told me of her trip to the dentist, "I told them I'd be back when I've sold my kidney. Can you believe it, I have to save 150 dollars by the 17th of April for my filling."
My response, "Oh my god, that sucks," ... "Suck my balls."
I hate posting pictures that are not mine but, like any blogger, my inspire! folder has a few images I just love. Since I've saved them on my hard drive, I don't remember where half of them are from and that makes me feel guilty. I've started a separate photo account for these so far apart from my flickr that I've put them on photobucket.
I do not own any of these images.
I went through a phase where all I could think about were plants. I used to dream about green, leafy, in all different shaped pots, hung from the ceiling, vines crawling up indoor walls, plantssssss. Until Aln told me that, at night, plants throw it in reverse and steal my air. Balloon popped.
And this. I'm going to rasterbate this if only for the LOLs. Mghn will love it.
Jby came by after a long absence and picked up the new Resident Evil for us to play. Reminded me of the months I lived with Kvn and his constant xbox 360 marathons. I used to love watching him play. I'd get into it, DON'T GO IN THERE- TURN!TURN!TURN!- BEHIND YOU OMG, and I'd talk to his buddies through the mic. I'm horrible at the two joystick thingy and the multiple movements for views. I am a first person player. I loved Call of Duty.
So Jby came by while I was at the gym with Mother and he waited until I was done. The roommates/ his sister and her gf weren't around which probably gave him no excuse not to. The only time they talk recently ends with them yelling at each other mostly caused by Mghn and how Dmnq has changed since.
It was fun. I missed hanging out with someone who I can have long conversations with summarized by, "have you seen this on youtube?!" "OMG the new south park episode!!!" "Dude, do NOT tell me you haven't heard..." and so on. We are very appreciative of the internet and I feel like no one understands us. We're quoters. Every day life is better explained by internet quotes be it movies or lyrics or comedy skits.
When Dmnq came home she told me of her trip to the dentist, "I told them I'd be back when I've sold my kidney. Can you believe it, I have to save 150 dollars by the 17th of April for my filling."
My response, "Oh my god, that sucks," ... "Suck my balls."
I hate posting pictures that are not mine but, like any blogger, my inspire! folder has a few images I just love. Since I've saved them on my hard drive, I don't remember where half of them are from and that makes me feel guilty. I've started a separate photo account for these so far apart from my flickr that I've put them on photobucket.
I do not own any of these images.
I went through a phase where all I could think about were plants. I used to dream about green, leafy, in all different shaped pots, hung from the ceiling, vines crawling up indoor walls, plantssssss. Until Aln told me that, at night, plants throw it in reverse and steal my air. Balloon popped.
And this. I'm going to rasterbate this if only for the LOLs. Mghn will love it.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
0011
March has not treated me well.
You think, okay, so I owe 605 dollars to the IRS. Okay. It'll be fine. You can do it. Positive, positive, positive. Think like Aln.
But really, you're screwed.
The only thing on your mind recently is, alright, things can't be anymore difficult, it can't get any worse, and then.
You're taking the long walk from work to your car this evening after a particularly annoying shift that began with the fact that you were actually at work at a god-awful hour (1130a and four hours of sleep) and ended with having to cancel plans with your mother because today was the day they decided you needed to be in the restaurant hours longer than needed, thinking Irish cream! Nap! Shower! Clst&Rbkh! Vegetarian cabbage & red potato soup! Not thinking, of course, 605 605 605 605, which was your fatal mistake. Feeling positive is not in your cards, so says the universe, and to slap you out if it your car gets keyed. KEYED. Your most valued possession, your Civic, Henry, gets keyed.
Yep, the worst is yet to come.
Spent St. Patrick's day with Clst&Rbkh, the roommates, and Thms. We did Irish car bombs after Irish car bomb. We watched youtube clips and spent most of the night sitting outside. It was ridiculously hot inside even with the windows and doors open; we blame Mghn's all day soup making. They took an absurd amount of pictures while I watched. Thms and I ran to Albertson's for more Guinness. It was a more fun and less crazy/wasted holiday than years past.
My ear and teeth still hurt and I cannot drink enough water. I need bigger glasses.
You think, okay, so I owe 605 dollars to the IRS. Okay. It'll be fine. You can do it. Positive, positive, positive. Think like Aln.
But really, you're screwed.
The only thing on your mind recently is, alright, things can't be anymore difficult, it can't get any worse, and then.
You're taking the long walk from work to your car this evening after a particularly annoying shift that began with the fact that you were actually at work at a god-awful hour (1130a and four hours of sleep) and ended with having to cancel plans with your mother because today was the day they decided you needed to be in the restaurant hours longer than needed, thinking Irish cream! Nap! Shower! Clst&Rbkh! Vegetarian cabbage & red potato soup! Not thinking, of course, 605 605 605 605, which was your fatal mistake. Feeling positive is not in your cards, so says the universe, and to slap you out if it your car gets keyed. KEYED. Your most valued possession, your Civic, Henry, gets keyed.
Yep, the worst is yet to come.
Spent St. Patrick's day with Clst&Rbkh, the roommates, and Thms. We did Irish car bombs after Irish car bomb. We watched youtube clips and spent most of the night sitting outside. It was ridiculously hot inside even with the windows and doors open; we blame Mghn's all day soup making. They took an absurd amount of pictures while I watched. Thms and I ran to Albertson's for more Guinness. It was a more fun and less crazy/wasted holiday than years past.
My ear and teeth still hurt and I cannot drink enough water. I need bigger glasses.
Monday, March 9, 2009
0008
Disneyland was so fun that I was still exhausted on Sunday. I was surprised at how easy and non-frustrating the trip was as compared to last year. I don't think anyone complained once except for, maybe, after splash mountain and how SOAKING WET we became. My constant babble through the entire ride consisted of, "bad idea, this was such a bad idea, I shouldn't have begged you guys to come with me, omg bad idea." Indiana Jones' was broken several times and after standing in line once we gave up. Thms and I had fun laughing like idiots and screaming profanities on all the rides.
I did meet the man of my dreams and I think it says something for Dmnq's friendship since she saw him first and immediately told me she found my new boyfriend (to which I responded, "SHUT UP," because he was walking over to us). His name was Tim and we were in a souvenir shop. I paid for my hat with his assistance. I saw him two other times in various shops and pulled everyone into the store just so I could pretend to be browsing while I watched him count the drawers. Okay, I sound like a creep, moving on...
Dinner was at Joe's Crab Shack. They danced and sang (which made me very grateful for my non-dancing and non-singing job) and made Dmnq stand on a chair for her birthday while yelling about all the crabs she had.
Sunday, I saw WATCHMEN in theaters by myself. The showtimes were 955 and 1025. I bought my ticket at 1010 and they gave me the one for 955. I talked to the kid taking the ticket and he told me there wouldn't be a problem if I sat in the 1025 theater but, three minutes before the previews started the manager came by, asking me what I was doing there, if I had my ticket. I was sitting alone. After things cleared up and he radioed the projector guy to start the movie for me, more people arrived. Maybe, 10. No one appreciated it as much as I did. People are ridiculous.
I fucking loved it.
Adrian Veidt will always be my biggest comic book crush. I loved the smartest man in the world in the novel and in the movie. He is just. So. Bad. Ass. Even with his secret "boys" folder on his computer.
And anything with Billy Crudup, seriously.
I did meet the man of my dreams and I think it says something for Dmnq's friendship since she saw him first and immediately told me she found my new boyfriend (to which I responded, "SHUT UP," because he was walking over to us). His name was Tim and we were in a souvenir shop. I paid for my hat with his assistance. I saw him two other times in various shops and pulled everyone into the store just so I could pretend to be browsing while I watched him count the drawers. Okay, I sound like a creep, moving on...
Dinner was at Joe's Crab Shack. They danced and sang (which made me very grateful for my non-dancing and non-singing job) and made Dmnq stand on a chair for her birthday while yelling about all the crabs she had.
Sunday, I saw WATCHMEN in theaters by myself. The showtimes were 955 and 1025. I bought my ticket at 1010 and they gave me the one for 955. I talked to the kid taking the ticket and he told me there wouldn't be a problem if I sat in the 1025 theater but, three minutes before the previews started the manager came by, asking me what I was doing there, if I had my ticket. I was sitting alone. After things cleared up and he radioed the projector guy to start the movie for me, more people arrived. Maybe, 10. No one appreciated it as much as I did. People are ridiculous.
I fucking loved it.
Adrian Veidt will always be my biggest comic book crush. I loved the smartest man in the world in the novel and in the movie. He is just. So. Bad. Ass. Even with his secret "boys" folder on his computer.
And anything with Billy Crudup, seriously.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
0007
I am bothered. Someone has to know this because I rarely have anyone to tell situations, emotions, stories, or dreams to who will not turn every sentence out of my mouth back towards themselves. I understand the I Am Sympathizing With You By Telling My Own Version, and I am plenty guilty of just that, but sometimes you just need an ear, a "What the fuck?", a "What happened next?", or an "Are you serious?!"
For someone who has to share her income with her deadbeat, "I can't get a second job because my first one will cut my 12 hours a week to just 8," girlfriend, Dmnq is pretty selfish. Birthdays are the perfect example.
The year she turned 21, her job wouldn't allow public drinking. I drove us out of town, in my new car, for her first margarita and paid for half her dinner while our other friends barely chipped in for the appetizer. A month later, when I turned 21, we had the same plans: drive out of town so we could drink together. While I was halfway through my 60 minute trip to pick up our friend that was 20 minutes from her, she called and cancelled. She didn't have the money, she said. Her car needed an oil change. We spent my 21st birthday at a restaurant in town (my future place of employment) while I drank alone and didn't have much fun until later that night.
Year 22, Trip Disneyland. I offer to pay for the hotel room. I book it but have to cancel because she changes the day last minute. Thms books it instead. I pay for half and Thms pays the other and the park ticket for Dmnq's gf. Dmnq gets in for free. A month later, the day before I turn 21 again, our plans for a beach trip are ruined because, yet again, while driving, she tells me she never requested the following day off. She doesn't have the money anyways. I spend my birthday at my mother's house, alone, buying a ridiculous amount of self presents online between choking on tears, phone calls from my mother ("I don't want you to be sad on your birthday."), and directTV.
This year, today, year 23, another Disneyland Trip and already I get a text during work at 1033p, "where r u? we're leaving at 6!" Off work, I call, "SIX?! You want to get to Anaheim before EIGHT?! I thought we're leaving at eight." Nope, she decided we not only needed to eat lunch and dinner out but breakfast too. Wow, must be nice to suddenly be made of money, oh wait...
I'm going to let it roll off me today. I know there will be plenty of drama, sides will be taken, people will be ditched, but this is my vacation too, this is my birthday present to myself, I will be in charge of my own decisions. Who cares if I have to wander alone to enjoy myself. I AM GOING ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN.
Work, by the way, was just fine until the last table. Really, table **, you can suck my dick, you fucking assholes.
And I love these shoes from Urban Outfitters. If only.
It is almost 5a and I haven't slept. We leave in an hour.
For someone who has to share her income with her deadbeat, "I can't get a second job because my first one will cut my 12 hours a week to just 8," girlfriend, Dmnq is pretty selfish. Birthdays are the perfect example.
The year she turned 21, her job wouldn't allow public drinking. I drove us out of town, in my new car, for her first margarita and paid for half her dinner while our other friends barely chipped in for the appetizer. A month later, when I turned 21, we had the same plans: drive out of town so we could drink together. While I was halfway through my 60 minute trip to pick up our friend that was 20 minutes from her, she called and cancelled. She didn't have the money, she said. Her car needed an oil change. We spent my 21st birthday at a restaurant in town (my future place of employment) while I drank alone and didn't have much fun until later that night.
Year 22, Trip Disneyland. I offer to pay for the hotel room. I book it but have to cancel because she changes the day last minute. Thms books it instead. I pay for half and Thms pays the other and the park ticket for Dmnq's gf. Dmnq gets in for free. A month later, the day before I turn 21 again, our plans for a beach trip are ruined because, yet again, while driving, she tells me she never requested the following day off. She doesn't have the money anyways. I spend my birthday at my mother's house, alone, buying a ridiculous amount of self presents online between choking on tears, phone calls from my mother ("I don't want you to be sad on your birthday."), and directTV.
This year, today, year 23, another Disneyland Trip and already I get a text during work at 1033p, "where r u? we're leaving at 6!" Off work, I call, "SIX?! You want to get to Anaheim before EIGHT?! I thought we're leaving at eight." Nope, she decided we not only needed to eat lunch and dinner out but breakfast too. Wow, must be nice to suddenly be made of money, oh wait...
I'm going to let it roll off me today. I know there will be plenty of drama, sides will be taken, people will be ditched, but this is my vacation too, this is my birthday present to myself, I will be in charge of my own decisions. Who cares if I have to wander alone to enjoy myself. I AM GOING ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN.
Work, by the way, was just fine until the last table. Really, table **, you can suck my dick, you fucking assholes.
And I love these shoes from Urban Outfitters. If only.
It is almost 5a and I haven't slept. We leave in an hour.
Friday, March 6, 2009
0006
-March 5th was Eat Cheese Stuffed Finger Food Day in aprilk world.
-No crazily realistic dreams in the past few days. Am crazily day dreaming, though.
-Work was sloooooow. Lunches are torture.
-Disneyland on Saturday. OMGHOWMANYMOREHOURS?!
-Goal #1 for March: Get Rid of Earache.
-Heartbroken due to bar crush of 2 years having girlfriend of 20.
-No crazily realistic dreams in the past few days. Am crazily day dreaming, though.
-Work was sloooooow. Lunches are torture.
-Disneyland on Saturday. OMGHOWMANYMOREHOURS?!
-Goal #1 for March: Get Rid of Earache.
-Heartbroken due to bar crush of 2 years having girlfriend of 20.
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