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For April Fool's day I put red food coloring in Dmnq's milk and poked holes in the bottom of Dmnq and Mghn's styrofoam cups. Oh man, I would have paid money to see the look on Mghn's face when she tried to pour herself some soda, I certainly heard all about it after work. Sadly, no one fooled me. I spent the entire day surrounded by people who seemed to have NO CLUE what the first of April entailed. It was lame.


I have been playing Resident Evil 5 with Jby and I am just so into it. We yell and scream at each other and laugh so hard we can't breathe. I look foreword to the few times our schedules match, even when it's just half a day.

I am not sure what it is but I seem to only take pictures on my phone recently.


I decided years ago that the love of my life will most certainly buy me a huge map as a gift because they will know how much I'll need one the moment we meet.


When I get frustrated, I cry which means that there have been two stages in my life that I spent soaked in tears. Junior year in high school and the years during my first job. The problem with this bullshit crying bit is that I hate showing that sort of weak emotion, specifically in public, which leads to even more frustration and even more tears. I cannot stand it. I hate every bit of this ridiculous shit in me but it will not change.

Take last Thursday. I forgot to renew my license that will expire in a few days so I decided to overnight my mail renewal form and payment. I went to two post offices and FedEx Kinkos. FedEx won't deliver to po boxes and the US post office was so jammed with people that I didn't even know where to start. The whole choosing the size of the envelop, making sure it's the right envelop for the job, finding the right paper work for the job AND envelop, and hoping you made the right choice or else a ton of people in line behind you will probably key your car in the parking lot, was too much for me to handle. I jumped out of line and decided, fuck it, I'll send it in the slow boring way and just hope that the rest of April is really lucky for me. Well, the stamp machines weren't working, one was not even on and the other refused every bill I put in it.

(The more I admit to the situations that seem petty but freak me out unreasonably the more I understand that I must have inherited my father's social anxiety disorder. The disorder that my mother only told me about in the past few years and followed it with, "If I had known that before, I probably wouldn't have wanted to have a child with him.")

I didn't so much as freak out over the entire situation, it was just so frustrating. Frustration is undealable with me. I wanted to scream and pull out my hair. I wanted to smash my hand through a window. I wanted to fucking hit someone in the face. I really didn't want to cry but I did, in my car, on the way home, and there is that other reason why I love big sunglasses.