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When you drink, you won't shut up. Two things happen and they both involve your mouth. One, you ask questions, you'll zone in on one subject and ask enough questions to frustrate. you want to know everything about everyone, who they've loved, who they've met, who they've hurt, who, what, when, where, dates of birth, relationships, anything. Two, you'll tell anyone anything. You'll tell them your date of birth and who you've loved (which RIGHT THERE is the problem), what you did that morning, what you dreamed, your goals, your deep goddamn secrets. You've been trying to learn to keep quiet but mostly, it doesn't work too well.

Like last night with coworkers, at Piero's, and your three and a half martini's (one of which you spilled on your cell phone, red dot a-okay though) and you asked Dg SO MANY QUESTIONS he threatened to punch you while you skipped from one subject to the next, never letting him finish a thought before you moved on, faster and faster. You also told him to go ahead, punch you, you've never been in an actual fight and you'd like to know what getting hit in the face felt like, but hold up a second, you need to take your glasses off first. Wndy turns to you, last night, and asks, have you ever been with a woman? And, ever the question queen, you ask back, do you mean sexually? then NO. Ha, they were ready to skip to the next subject when you opened wide and yelled, if you had asked me, if I've ever been in love with a woman, I would have answered YES, but NO, not sexually and JP, Dg, and Wndy stop. Look at you. Pause forever. And then continue on. They heard you and processed, then moved on.



Blaming the three day fever is probably your best bet. You've been sick for a week, barely able to work and everything has just been hot, cold, sweater on, sweater off, covers on, covers off, all day, all night. Your ear hurts which means your teeth hurt or your teeth hurt which means your ear hurts, whichever works for you.

You've been spending too much money also. Seriously. Stop it. RentRentRent is a number one, here. Not the 50 dollar, floor model, ipod nano regularly priced at 150. Okay, so maybe having a roommate in the technology market is actually a pretty awesome thing. The box wine from Target today was not a necessity, though. Actually every part of the 92 dollars spent at Target wasn't a necessity except, maybe, the paper towels. And the advil. And tylenol.